I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize