ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
she looked like the before picture.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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