WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
