his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
