He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
