i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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