my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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