btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Randomize
