my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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