Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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