Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
