are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
