You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
