Is it normal to miss your booty call?
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
