Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Randomize