During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
