Heybabeimwearingurpanties
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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