Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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