I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
