i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
