the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
