Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
