He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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