My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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