pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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