"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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