kristin has been a bad kristin
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
