is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just threw up on my dentist
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
