OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
