508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
