Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize