I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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