Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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