she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
