you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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