Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize