try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
