ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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