Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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