that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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