i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Randomize
