Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Randomize
