just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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