I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
