drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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