Me too!
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
