Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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