coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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