Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
