just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
