Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
