I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
