I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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