He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
