wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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