HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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