she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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