I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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