She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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