am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
