I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
