oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
