I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
