Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
