so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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